Last Friday, I met up with my former officemates, and I am really glad (and ecstatic, despite its not budgeted) to meet them. But, I was not prepared of how they looked now. Khriz was thinner than ever, Ryan was a lot horizontally challenged than before. I am afraid, their workplace has taken a toll on them.
This night, one of my closest colleague posted that she was missing so much of her life, and is not very happy on her work. I was never a good adviser, but I am open on sharing what I have learned based from my experience.
Last year, I was on the same page. I wanted to move on, find another job or to the minimal extent, divert my attention from what is happening to the four corners of the room. I never want to complain, its not even my nature, but situations have emerged that it made me think, "what would I become if I stay in this company?". Its not a challenge for the company, but instead, it was a challenge for myself.
I started to think about taking masters degree, everything was laid out perfectly. I have my exam schedules, I thought of how I would spend the remaining hours of the evening for review, where will I go, how much would I spend on the exams. I even read blogs and universities' policies, just in case I managed to pass the requirements. I even imagined myself staying in a campus dorm outside of the Philippines, thinking how much would I save from the monthly stipend, how my life would be in a foreign university. Little by little, I finally lessen the hours I complain with people, however, I found myself being alone. I don't want to ruin the momentum I have that time. However, some things happened that you are not in control of. I am ready to let go, yet, I stayed for a year after all the plans have been laid. Simple, I don't want to ruin somebody's life because of the thought that I will leave.
Months passed, workload became heavy and the masteral degree took a backseat, or more so, was put in the trunk and simply forgotten. But, the questions remained at the back of my mind, "what am I going to do for the rest of my life? What is it for me outside that glass door and after the shadow of these people?" Lastly, "why do some people land a job better that where I am now, given that I believe I worth more than this?".
Masters degree was forgotten, I believe, this is not the right year for it, so I diverted my attention in looking for a new job. Its not I don't like my job anymore, its not challenging for me - and moreso, I don't find myself making "kaplastikan" with some people in the workplace. I never want to be a burden in the team - that they would constantly ask how I feel, if I am alright. So I decided that maybe, shifting to a new environment would make me think what I want to be and where will I spend the rest of my life with.
Many would say, when life gives you lemons, make a lemonade. Simple, accept what life gives you and make something ordinary out of it. I want to think I am not one of those. I believe, when life gives you lemons, exchange it to something else, apples maybe since its more abundant in the food industry, you can make more amazing things out of it.
Changing what you have is never easy, and I've experienced it. Its literally back to square one.
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